Charlie: Nana what are you doing?

Nana: Cooking a turkey for Thanksgiving.

Charlie: I’ll do it. How do I do it?

Step 1: Pull the insides of the turkey (aka, “why mommy doesn’t cook turkey”)

What’s in there?

Really? That grows inside a turkey Nana? Why?

Step 2: Next we need to wash and dry the turkey

Step 3: Now pat it dry

Step 4: Put on your sunglasses and poke the turkey

Really? Yep. That’s definitely the next step.

Step 5: Add celery to the roasting pan

Step 5a: Wash the celery

YAY!!! Water! Charlie’s favorite part of anything.

Step 5b: Have Nana cut the ends off the celery, then put it in the big pan

Step 6: Put the turkey in your roasting pan on top of the celery

Step 7: Butter

“Charlie, God gave the turkey two holes, so you’ll need two sticks of butter. One for each hole.”

Step 8: Coat the turkey’s skin with butter for a nice brown finish. Then put the remainder of the butter inside the turkey.

See? Two holes = two sticks of butter.

Step 9: Add a little water to the bottom of the pan

Step 10: Flip the bird

Nana: “Oh! I just read somewhere that you’re supposed to cook the turkey breast-side down to keep it juicy. I’ve never done that, but let’s try.”

Step 11: Add salt and a couple of snacking commentators

Yep. That much salt.

Step 12: Read the directions

Maybe we should move this step higher up in the process Nana!

Step 13:  Set your meat thermometer to 165 degrees

Step 14: Look up how to use the iGrill thermometer. Then set it to play “Dixie Chicken” on Nana’s iPhone when the turkey is done.

I have no picture of the finished turkey because we were 30 minutes late to Thanksgiving dinner. It was delicious and juicy, though.

Now… time for a nap.

Happy Thanksgiving y’all!

I’m thankful for you.