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Evolved Mommy | September 17, 2019

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First World Problems - Evolved Mommy

First World Problems
First world problems: Mustard yellow and grey bathroom

Am I going to like mustard yellow long enough to buy curtains or is this just a fall 2011 thing?

At the beginning of summer we made a decision to turn off the news because we couldn’t think of a single reason that we *need* to watch the news every night, and all it was doing was adding unnecessary stress. There’s nothing we can do today as a family to turn around the world economy or to make everyone be nice. Why were we ingesting this information then?

You know what? It’s been absolutely freeing. I have no idea what’s going on in the world. Okay, well that’s not entirely true. I do still listen to NPR most days, but I turn it off when it gets contentious.

The other day I saw this tweet:

Injustice facts tweet

And I realized we really do have it pretty good. Maybe in America we are an average ho-hum family, but relatively speaking that’s a pretty good thing.

We don’t go to bed hungry and we don’t worry about bombings in the streets outside our home. There are no fighter jets overhead. No military presence on our streets.

Suddenly the things I worry about seemed trite. I definitely have first world problems.

For example, here are the things that occupy my brain on an average day:

  • It’s so hard to have expensive taste on a budget. Pretty sure I was meant to be filthy rich and live in the Hamptons. Can’t be certain, though.
  • Can I justify a $300 bag by saying quality matters? And how do I decide between Dooney & Bourke,  Badgley Mischka and 3.1 Phillip Lim?
  • I have had more headaches in the last six months than I’ve had in my entire life. Is it the weather? Or, more interestingly, I’ve only started taking prescription headache medicine in the last six months. Is the medicine causing more headaches? Sneaky pharmaceutical companies. Wouldn’t put it past them.
  • How long will I love mustard yellow? Is this a fall 2011 trend or is it here long enough to buy curtains?
  • “Baby Got Back” by Sir-Mix-A-Lot has been stuck in my head for two days, only briefly interrupted by “Shoo Fly. Don’t Bother Me.” The more annoyed I get with the looping “Baby Got Back” serenade by my brain the louder it is. Does this happen to other people? Am I crazy? If so, can I go to one of those luxury rehab places? I’d like six months at a Palm Springs resort please, but only if it’s covered by my insurance.
  • Steve just told me pigs have more feelings and memories than dogs. I don’t want to eat pork anymore. But pepperoni is so delicious. If only I could think of the pigs when I order pizza. But usually I can’t think of anything but the delicious pizza.
  • Safari is running sooooo slow on my MacBook since I installed the Lion OS. It’s a blessing in disguise, though, because now I’ve discovered how wonderful Firefox is.
  • Step class is hard.
  • What if someone else brings grapes to playgroup? Should I bake something? No, that’s too much work. I’ll bring carrots.
  • I should write more often. Maybe I’ll stay up until 10:30 instead of going to bed at 10:00.
  • We need butter. I should go to Ozark Natural Foods. It’s so far for just the one thing, though. I don’t want to ingest fat-building hormones. I’ll go tomorrow.

See. Ridiculous. Honest, though.

What are your first world problems.